2 de agosto de 2007

Not to miss!

¡Hola a todos!

Aquí os dejo unos chistecitos sobre la profesión. Espero que os gusten ya que creo que, aunque dentro de la ironía, nos dan consejos de los que todos podemos aprender.

Para todos los interesados, el autor es Danilo Nogueira y aquí tenéis la referencia a estas citas.

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What do you do?"
"I am a translator."
"Oh really? How nice, but I meant what you do FOR A LIVING."
"You mean WORK? I don't work. I make so much
money from my translations that I do not need to work."

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"Can I have this back within three days? I am really pressed here."
"Sure."
"How much will that be?"
"LSD$ 1500."
"Isn't hat too much for a three-day job?"
"I can do it in one week if it will make you feel better".

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"Can I have a discount on that?"
"Why?"

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"You make more money than I do!"
"You might consider becoming a translator, then."

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"We have a better quote. Lots of translators are
willing to accept the job at more sensible rates, you know."
"Well, lots of clients are willing to pay me the rates I quoted."

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"We have a quote that is lower than yours by a good 20 percent."
". [Silence]"
"Hello! I said we have a quote that is lower than yours by a good 20 percent."
"Yes, I heard you the first time."
"Isn't there anything you wish to say?"
"No."

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"What is your best rate?"
"USD X."
"Too high for Brazil."
"Yes, I know. That is why I never work for Brazilian clients. I just live
in the place. The better of two worlds, you know:
work in the U.S., live in Brazil."

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"What is your best rate?"
"USD X."
"Jesus, how did you arrive at that astronomical sum?"
"Supply and demand."

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"What is your best rate?"
"USD X."
"That much for a piece of paper?"
"No, sorry, I don't charge for the paper. That
goes free with the translation. The price is for putting words on paper."

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"You do not have to translate spaces. So we do not pay for them."
"Very good. I will deliver the job without spaces."

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"I know someone who charges less than you."
"I know a lot of people who charge less than me."
"Are they good?"
"Wouldn't know. Never seen their work."
"Oh, well, I know someone who IS very good and charges less."
"Then you have a problem, that is, decide who this job is going to."

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"X charges less."
"You are talking to me, now."

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"You are raving mad!"
"Yes, I'm aware of that and my shrink charges a
fortune. That is why my rates are so high."

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"Sorry, we cannot pay more than that. It is a
very large project. We are bidding for 25 languages."
"I am bidding for Portuguese only."

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"Sorry, we cannot pay more than that. We are taking a loss at this project."
"Call me again when you get a profitable contract."

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"There will be more work in the future."
"So you'd better get used to my rates."

7 comentarios:

Fabio M. Said dijo...

:-) This one is my favorite: "I make so much money from my translations that I do not need to work."
I'm seriously thinking of using some of these "chistecitos" on a daily basis... Thanks for posting them!

Olli Carreira dijo...

Que bueno. ¿Has pensado en crear la sección "chiste tocapelotas de la semana"? Sería un éxito! :D

Enig dijo...

Hi Eugénia, The quotes are great, but I think it would be nice to attribute authorship. You are probably not aware but they were created by Danilo Nogueira, who also maintains the weblog Tradutor Profissional. You can see them here http://www.proz.com/topic/22696 and I think they were also published as part of an article on Translation Journal.

Eugenia Arrés dijo...

Thank you so much Enig!

As you can see, I always mention the source text in my posts and I was wondering who was the author of these brilliant sentences ;)

I will add all the information provided to my post, so everybody can check the work made by Danilo directly on the home post.

Regards from Spain XXX

Anónimo dijo...

que malos son todos no? no me reí con ninguno...
Saludos anyway!

Eugenia Arrés dijo...

Anónimo, ¿eres traductor y no te ríes? Yo creo que más bien nos reímos de las ganas que tenemos de soltarle esto a cualquiera que cuestione nuestra labor profesional...

Encarni dijo...

He visto un libro de epigramas sobre los traductores y la traducción. El libro se titula "Epigramatario sobre traductores" (www.lulu.com), y contiene multitud de epigramas, muy divertidos. Para muestra, este, escrito con fina ironía:

Cualquiera
Le dijo Andrés a Nazario:
¿Sabes que los 'tradutores'
traducen con 'dicionario'?
¡Y se creen grandes 'dotores'!
¡Recorcho!, de esa manera
puede traducir cualquiera.

Encarni